Embracing Serenity in Everyday Life
This week, we continue our exploration of the Serenity Prayer—at least the common version used in many recovery circles. Specifically, we are reflecting on the first stanza:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…”
Though brief, these words carry profound meaning. Let’s take a closer look at some key terms:
God:
Right from the start, the focus shifts away from ourselves and toward a higher power. Often, when we feel stuck, it’s because we’ve relied too much on our own ideas and efforts. Thinking we can handle everything alone can lead to isolation, disappointment, and stress. Turning our focus to a higher power invites us to step off the crazy train of our own limited perceptions.
It’s also an invitation to trust—to believe there is a Source of love and strength that truly has our back. It’s okay to wrestle with this idea. I do, too. But whether I know it’s true or simply hope it’s true, shifting my focus to the bigger picture helps.
Grant:
Therapist Terry Real has a saying: "In an intimate relationship, you don’t have the right to expect anything you haven’t asked for." I may be making too much of this, but I believe that asking for help is an essential wellness skill. It requires surrender—because asking doesn’t guarantee receiving.
This applies to both our relationships and our connection to God. Yet, the simple act of asking opens us to new possibilities. When we rely only on ourselves, we limit ourselves to the same old resources and solutions.
Serenity:
Peace. Calm. Balance. Contentment. Well-being.
Who wouldn’t want these things? Isn’t this what we all strive for?
Yes, but the reality of life is that pain is unavoidable. We can drive ourselves crazy trying to control every variable in an attempt to feel safe, but this kind of frantic anxiety robs us of the joy of living.
The Serenity Prayer isn’t asking for a pain-free life. It’s asking for peace of mind—the ability to accept what we cannot change and find courage to face reality. I love this. We’re not asking for an easy, carefree existence. We’re asking for the clarity and strength to take loving action, even in difficult circumstances.
Accept:
Acceptance reduces suffering.
In Eastern philosophy, there’s a concept called the Two Arrows:
The first arrow is unavoidable pain—illness, accidents, war, natural disasters, or simple bad luck. Pain happens.
The second arrow is psychological suffering—how we respond to pain.
The second arrow is avoidable, yet many of us unknowingly shoot ourselves with it. We resist, judge, deny, rage, criticize, or despair—making things even harder for ourselves.
True acceptance is not naval-gazing nihilistic fatalism. Instead, it empowers us to show up as our best selves. It frees us from unnecessary suffering and helps us move forward with clarity and strength. I think acceptance is a necessary ingredient for Compassion. If we cannot acknowledge our thoughts, feelings, habits, body, health, and circumstances, how can we respond to ourselves with kindness? Without acceptance, we are at war with ourselves. And if we cannot respond to ourselves with loving kindness, how will we respond to others with loving kindness? The result is we become tempted to war with others.
Reflection
Which of these themes speaks to you today?
What is one small action you can take in response?
Jot down a note to revisit this idea later.
Journal your thoughts.
Talk through it with a trusted friend.
Share this email with someone who might find it meaningful.
I hope and pray that you find calm and balance in your innermost being today. That you feel grounded and bold enough to see your life clearly. That your suffering is eased—and that you, in turn, help ease the suffering of others.
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom Page, LCPC
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