Finding Wisdom in the Serenity Prayer
Welcome to our third reflection on the Serenity Prayer. The well-known short version of the prayer, often recited in recovery communities, reads:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
This week, we’re exploring the theme of wisdom—specifically, the phrase: And wisdom to know the difference. Let’s take a deeper look.
The Power of "And"
If you’ve worked with me before, you know I’m a big fan of the word AND—especially in relationships. The word and allows multiple truths to coexist, fostering inclusion and complexity. By contrast, but—while not inherently wrong—often focuses on distinction rather than connection.
In improv comedy, successful scenes are built on the principle of Yes, And: Yes acknowledges reality, while And builds upon it. In the Serenity Prayer, And joins Acceptance, Courage, and Wisdom—three essential pillars of personal growth and healing. Like the legs of a stool, all three work together to create stability. Remove one, and the balance is lost.
Wisdom: A Moment-by-Moment Practice
It would be nice if there were a handbook explaining the best course of action for every situation. Unfortunately, life isn’t that simple—this is where wisdom comes in.
Wisdom is the ability to practice values-centered discernment in each moment. It requires seeing clearly, understanding nuances, holding tension between conflicting ideas, and choosing the most loving step forward. In a world that often presents issues as binary—right vs. wrong, in vs. out, good vs. bad—wisdom helps us navigate the complexity of real life. Those who cultivate wisdom avoid the trap of false dichotomies and instead embrace discernment.
The Importance of Knowing
Growing up in the late ’80s and early ’90s, I loved watching G.I. Joe cartoons. At the end of each episode, there was a short public service announcement where a character would help kids solve a problem. The segment always ended with the phrase: “Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.”
This truth applies to personal healing as well. Awareness is the first step toward change—without it, we remain stuck. Knowledge is powerful because it shows us reality, and once we see reality, we can work with it.
Understanding the Difference
Some things align with who you want to be and fall within your control, while others do not. Much of our stress comes from fixating on what we cannot control. Gaining clarity on what is within our influence—and what isn’t—can be life-changing. When we focus our energy on what we can control, we experience more serenity. When we resist this reality, we set ourselves up for frustration.
Reflection
As you consider these themes, what resonates with you most? And what is one small commitment you can make to apply your insights in daily life?
Happy to be in your corner,
Tom Page, LCPC
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