How to Create Defining Moments
Like I mentioned in last week’s email, I just finished reading The Power of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath—and it’s worth your time. The authors explain that we don’t remember every detail of our lives. Instead, we remember peak moments, transitions, and endings far more than the daily frustrations or minor mistakes we often try to avoid.
They point out that we spend so much energy trying to prevent small errors, when instead we could be focusing on creating powerful moments—at home, at work, or in our communities.
The Big Idea: Defining Moments Require Intentionality
Powerful moments don’t happen by accident. They exist outside our everyday routines and expectations. And most of the time, we default to what’s easy, efficient, or cost-effective. But here’s the Heath brothers’ warning:
“Beware the soul-sucking force of reasonableness.”
Sure, the “reasonable” choice might seem like it saves time or money. But it often misses the chance to create something memorable and meaningful.
The book outlines four key elements that make up powerful moments:
Elevation
These moments rise above the routine—they’re surprising, fun, or emotionally engaging.
Example: A company celebrating an employee’s work anniversary with a surprise party.Insight
Moments that lead to a sudden realization or new understanding.
Example: A student discovering their passion during a school project.Pride
Moments that recognize achievement or growth, and challenge people to rise to the occasion.
Example: Receiving a hard-earned promotion or public acknowledgment.Connection
Moments built on shared meaning—often through celebrations, struggles, or collaboration.
Example: Family rituals or team-building experiences.
A Favorite Example: Breaking the Script
One of my favorite parts of the book is their discussion of “breaking the script.” That means disrupting the expected pattern of an experience—at work, school, home, even at a hotel.
The example they give is the Magic Castle Hotel in Los Angeles. At first glance, it’s nothing fancy. But they do one thing really well: they intentionally break the script.
By the pool, there’s a red phone labeled the Popsicle Hotline. Guests can pick it up anytime and order free popsicles, which are delivered poolside on a silver tray. Kids love it. And parents love that their kids love it.
It’s such a simple idea—but it’s intentional. It creates joy, sticks in your memory, and turns a middle-of-the-road hotel into a guest favorite.
Here’s the takeaway: creating defining moments doesn’t have to be hard, but it does require someone to make them happen.
The Popsicle Hotline might seem like an unnecessary expense to some. But in reality, it’s brilliant marketing and even better hospitality. It brings delight—and it lasts in memory far longer than a free breakfast ever could.
Sounds like a win/win to me.
Where is an opportunity to create a defining moment in your life? In what areas of your life do things feel rote and devoid of meaning or purpose? Perhaps you can be the one to shake things up and create the opportunity for a defining moment. Start small and focus on at least one of the four elements above. Step outside of what feels familiar and be the kind of person who makes moments happen. While success is not guaranteed, you might just impact someone in a way they remember for a long time.
Here’s to creating powerful moments!
Tom Page, LCPC
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