Top Five Regrets of The Dying
I just finished reading The Power of Moments by Dan and Chip Heath. It’s an excellent book, and I’m sure I’ll reference some of its key ideas in upcoming Transformation Tip emails. But toward the end, something unexpected caught my attention—a reference to another book: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware.
Bronnie gained recognition after a blog post she wrote in the 90s went viral. As a palliative care nurse, she spent time with patients in their final days and began noticing recurring regrets. She captured those insights in her blog post The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, and later expanded them into a book with the same title.
Since coming across the list in The Power of Moments, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Oddly enough, I think the list speaks for itself. So here it is:
Top Five Regrets of the Dying – Bronnie Ware
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Many realized too late that their dreams had gone unfulfilled.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. Especially common among men, this regret reflects lost time with family and missed moments.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Suppressing emotions led to bitterness and unfulfilled relationships.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. People often deeply regretted not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved.
I wish I had let myself be happier. Many didn’t realize until the end that happiness is a choice, not a condition.
Don’t breeze past this list—take a moment to really let it sink in.
If we’re willing, we can let those who have come before us serve as mentors. Their regrets can be warning signs for us—nudges to slow down, pay attention, and ask ourselves: Am I really living the life I want?
We’re not guaranteed anything in life. But we are almost certainly destined to repeat the same old patterns unless we’re intentional about doing things differently—trying something new, stretching ourselves, stepping outside our comfort zones.
Reflect on the themes from above:
Are you living your life—or someone else’s version of it?
Are you missing out because you’re working too much?
Are you holding back your true thoughts and feelings?
Have you lost connection with friends?
Are you sabotaging your own happiness?
Which of Bronnie Ware’s Top Five Regrets of the Dying speaks to you most?
Write it down. Keep it visible this week. Ponder it—and consider one small step you can take to ensure it doesn’t become your regret too.
We’ve got one shot at this life. Let’s make the most of it.
Tom Page, LCPC
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